


You Don’t Have to Miss Me Today

by Frappexo



Category: EXO (Band)
Genre: Light Angst, M/M, One Shot, Romance, Smut, idk how to tag this
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-03-26
Updated: 2018-03-26
Packaged: 2019-04-08 05:37:59
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 18,866
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14098407
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Frappexo/pseuds/Frappexo
Summary: Date:February 12th, 2017Event:EXO’rDIUM in Hong KongRelevant data:Hislast concertwith EXO.Date:March 8th, 2017Relevant data:Dream Maker Entertainmentannounces his absence for the upcoming concerts.Date:May 12th to 14th, 2017Event:EXO-L Japanfan meetingsRelevant data:It’s been 3 months since the last time they performed together as nine. Things don’t seem to change any time soon, and Sehun misses him a lot.





	You Don’t Have to Miss Me Today

**Author's Note:**

>   
>  I like to listen to music while reading and I’m sure there are people like me out there (please tell me there are!), so bc of that, I’ll recommend you to listen to one of the songs I was listening to when I was writing this.  
>   
> The song for this story is:
> 
> **“Won’t Go Home Without You”** by **Maroon 5**
> 
> You can find it [here](https://open.spotify.com/user/frappexo/playlist/2yB6x1MZxY6RwEth58qFAf?si=bZMj5FbxTz6JM5qhBDDsgA) .  
> 
> 
>  
> 
>   
> •*.¸¸.•*✦*•.¸¸.*•
> 
>  
> 
>   
> **DISCLAIMER**  
>   
>  I do not own anything that is not the story itself. I am not affiliated with EXO or SM Entertainment, and I take no responsibility for the misuse and/or misinterpretation of the content posted here.  
>   
> Any similarity that this fanfiction and/or the character(s) may have with another fanfiction or real-life events, is mere coincidence.  
>   
>  **English is not my first language.**  
> 

 

The fan meetings in Japan went well, as planned. EXO-Ls were the best, as always. They had a lot of fun and performed successfully. They were more tired than anything, but they knew it was totally worth it. It was in occasions like those when they could be near their fans, and there was nothing else that made them feel so happy on stage. Those were his thoughts at least, but he was sure that they were the same for the other members.

Yes, he had enjoyed being on that stage, but he couldn’t lie to himself. There was something that he didn’t feel okay. There was something that he knew _wasn’t_ okay. It was already May, and according to his calendar it had been 3 months since the last time they had performed together. Since the last time they had been on the same stage, _together_. He didn’t dare to mention that those things were occupying his mind, though. He couldn’t let everyone know that he wasn’t completely fine. He couldn’t make his members worry about him.

The mere thought of knowing that they were far away only turned his stomach, and the more time passed, the worse he felt. He needed to see _him_ again. To hug _him_ and kiss _him_. To tell _him_ in person that he missed _him_ a lot, but of course that wouldn’t happen—at least not very soon.

He was so perplexed in his affairs that he didn’t realize that they had already arrived to the airport. But he came back to reality when a voice interrupted his thoughts.

“Houston calling Sehun, it’s time to get off the van.”

Junmyeon was standing next to the van’s door, looking at him with a curious, yet a little concerned look. He was the one who, among all the members, could always know when something wasn’t right with him. Sehun knew he could count on the other whenever he needed it, but he didn’t feel like explaining what was going on, so he just nodded and smiled.

“Is everything alright?”

“Yes, I’m just tired,” Sehun said, still smiling. “Now move so I can get out.”

Junmyeon only laughed, shaking his head. With this Sehun knew that he had saved himself from giving an explanation.

They entered the airport, and on their way to the check-in process the idea suddenly came to him. Sehun thought about it and it didn’t sound bad. It could actually work if he found the way to sound convincing. He wasn’t sure if he could carry out this plan—not that it could be called a ‘ _plan’,_ anyway—but he still was going to try. Nothing could be worse than the way he was feeling, after all.

They all did one by one the Immigration process and now they were waiting for Chanyeol and Minseok to complete it. Junmyeon never left Sehun’s side since they left the van, and so he took advantage of having him nearby to proceed with his _plan_.

“Hyung.”

Junmyeon looked at him, and waited for him to finish his sentence; his eyes intent on what he could say.

“I don’t want to go with you.”

“What?” Junmyeon asked, raising his eyebrows.

“I want to rest a little before going home. Maybe I could take another flight and—“

“Are you planning some type of vacations without us?” Junmyeon interrupted, now smirking.

Sehun could take that as a good sign—because that was a good sign, right?

“I would call it a rest from you, but yeah, the word ‘vacations’ is accepted as well,” he replied nonchalantly.

“Oh Sehun! You’re like a baby! You can’t just go and travel who-knows-where all by yourself without an adult by your side!”

“Oh, come on! I’m old enough to do so… _mom_.” He received a not-so-kind look from Junmyeon. “And either way,” Sehun continued, “who’s supposed to be the adult? You?”

“Well, yeah? I’m the adult here! A very responsible one, if you ask me. I’ve taken care of all the members and the nine of us are still alive.”

Of course Sehun knew they could’ve never asked for anything else. The guy was a fantastic leader, and all the members agreed with that ever since Junmyeon was chosen to be their leader, but he couldn’t admit it right now. He needed to win that fight. So rolling his eyes, a smirk appeared. “If you say so…”

“You know it’s true!” Junmyeon laughed, but it seemed like he would let the _baby_ have the last word this time. “Where are you planning to go?”

“I…” Sehun frowned. “I don’t know.” He suddenly ran out of words. He didn’t think he could go that far in this conversation, so he didn’t plan what he would say if the question came up. Not that he was pessimistic, but he knew that a part of him would fail to fake his true intentions. “Maybe I’ll take any plane to anywhere, or… I just…” Sehun started to panic. If he didn’t come up with a quick answer, there would be no way to convince the other.

Junmyeon stared at him, as if trying to figure out where Sehun was headed with this sudden _I-don’t-wanna-go-home_ thing. However, his look quickly changed into a sympathetic one, reflecting that he had already understood his intentions—Sehun could only hope that it wasn’t the case.

Then Junmyeon smiled softly—was it an understanding or a sad smile?—and said, “Tell him that it would be cool if he could come back as soon as possible. Phone and video calls aren’t enough. We all miss him a lot.”

Sehun stared at Junmyeon with wide eyes. He was sure that he didn’t mention any name! Was he that obvious?

Junmyeon just gave him another smile—this time a big one—and Sehun had no choice but to nod, smiling sheepishly.

“Please let me know when you arrive and come back home safe and sound.” Junmyeon hugged him, and added, “And I know this is complicated, but maybe you can pull out some trick and come back home with _him.”_

With this, Sehun promised himself that he wouldn’t return to South Korea without trying, because he wanted _him_ to be with them as well. He probably wanted it even more than anybody else.

 

 

Sehun landed a few hours later, around 11 o’clock at night. It had been easy to convince Junmyeon, but the toughest part had been trying to convince their manager to let him go. It was needed a lot of persuasion from Junmyeon and a lot—really, _a lot_ —of puppy eyes from Sehun, but in the end their manager had no other choice. Because who said no to puppy eyes? And even less if those came from Oh Sehun.

Though he wasn’t alone, taking into consideration that their manager hadn’t let him travel alone, it was weird to travel without any other member. He hadn’t done all this traveling-alone thing a lot, if any, and it made him feel somehow a little bit anxious. Yet thinking about why he was doing it, and what he would get once landing, he relaxed knowing the feeling was totally worth it. Even more now that he was halfway to completing his plan—that’s right, now it was officially a _plan_.

Leaving in a van that had been brought to the airport thanks to the manager, Sehun was the first one to arrive to his destination. He said goodbye, assuring that he would pass his manager’s regards and promised that _they_ both would behave. Not long after, Sehun saw how the vehicle disappeared in the distance; his manager-hyung leaving with it, heading to the hotel.

He stared then at the entrance in front of him. It had been a while since the last time he had been standing right at this spot, and he was nervous. Sehun knew that he would find him here. During his flight, he had texted him a casual message asking how his day had gone. He had received a, ‘ _Today I finished my commitments early, so now I’m at home. I’ll probably try to write something ^^’_. So yes, the house wasn’t alone, but Sehun was beginning to doubt whether it had been good idea to come or not.

What was he supposed to say?

 _“Hey, I missed you and that’s why I came”_?

Or, _“Hey, it’s been a while and I wanted to visit you”_?

He could get to improvise something about why he was there, of course, but the thing that worried him the most was the way he was going to enter.

He could ring the doorbell—as normal people do—but what if the other was asleep? After all, it had been long since the clock had ticked past midnight. Doing so would involve the other to open the door, and it didn’t sound like a good idea assuming he was already asleep. Not that this guy was known for being a person who sleeps early, but Sehun knew how much he worked, and a part of him wanted to believe that today he had allowed himself to go to rest early.

His second option was to enter using his own set of keys, but Sehun wasn’t sure about doing it, either. He wasn’t being a burglar or something, yet his presence wasn’t exactly expected.

 _What if I’m not welcome?_ Sehun thought.

His mind began to jump between staying and pretending he had never been standing there. He didn’t know if he was going crazy or if it was just his tiredness, but he could almost swear that he had a mini Sehun standing on his shoulder.

“Don’t be a fool, Sehun!” mini Sehun said. “You can’t change your mind now that you’re already here. And anyway, of course you’re welcome! If not, then why do you even have your own set of keys?”

Sehun concluded that he was going crazy indeed, but this non-existent version of himself was encouraging him to stay, and who was he to ignore mini Sehun? After all, he received a set of keys because, “ _You can be here anytime you want, Sehun-ah. With these you’ll be able to enter, even if I’m not at home._ ”

He considered it for a few more seconds and finally decided that the last sentence was enough evidence to use his second option. Taking out his keys, he selected the one that would allow him to open for the first time that specific door.

The entrance was wide. There was a garden with some little bushes, and a path in the middle made of dark stones, which lead to the main entrance of the house. It had two floors, and on the outside some of the walls were made with applications of wood, and other more were plain-white walls. Everything was illuminated by some lights in the garden and the sight was beautiful.

Sehun walked and opened the front door. The place looked exactly as he remembered it. He didn’t need more than five seconds inside to feel like he was at home. He had been a few times there since they didn’t come a lot, but those had been enough to get to love the place.

Putting his suitcase next to the front door, he turned on the lights. From the inside, the white color dominated as well, even in the furniture. Some walls were painted light gray, matching with the floor. The kitchen was the one that welcomed you every time you entered the place. It was a large kitchen, raised on a floor, with any walls surrounding it. In front of it you could find an open staircase, which led you to the second floor. It was very simple, made of wood with a silver rail that combined with the white and gray walls.

Then there was a corridor that led him to the living room. On the right side, glass walls showed you the studio. It had two guitars hanging on the wall, two chairs, and a desk with a computer in the middle of two speakers; two armchairs and a shelf. The piano wasn’t there because the studio didn’t have enough space, but there was a keyboard instead. There also were water bottles, and some boxes of food—surely empty—showing that someone had been working there. Sehun had imagined he would find him there, but to his surprise, the studio was empty.

The living room and the dining room were empty as well. Both rooms had in common a glass wall with a door facing the back garden—there was no one in the garden either. In the living room, the couches were plain white and spacious. They were all together in the center of the room facing the TV hanging on the wall. It had a little shelf below with a stereo, and video game consoles that were mostly used by Baekhyun. There was a coffee table, and in one corner, a beautiful piano.

The dining room, on the other hand, didn’t have many things. You could only find the table, 10 chairs around and a small palm tree as decoration. It was very simple, but it became an amazing place when all the members were gathered there.

The back garden had a table with several chairs around—eight to be exact, and one extra set aside. Sehun could still remember when they bought the set, around six or seven months ago. The box that contained the table was huge and they had trouble loading it from the entrance to its current position.

On the left side of those was the pool. Along the walls that surrounded the garden you could find bamboo, and in the rest of the garden, there were some plants and flowers that served as decoration.

Sehun was never tired of admiring the place. For him, it was really beautiful and it gave him peace of mind. He stayed there a few minutes until he realized that he hadn’t come to admire it, so he moved to look upstairs.

You could see the kitchen and part of the studio if you stopped where the second floor started and looked down. It was a very spacious floor, and it also had white and gray walls. On the right side was the washroom. In front of it, there was a small room in which were stored all the things that were used to clean the house and do the laundry. To the end of the floor were three rooms; two were used as guest rooms, and the other was the main room.

Sehun was now standing by the door in the main room. He only saw the bed on the right side of the room stuck to the wall, and the balcony, which overlooked the back garden, but again, he didn’t find anyone.

Would’ve he misunderstood the message? Would’ve they been talking about a hotel? They had never really mentioned this particular place in their texts, and Sehun knew that this hyung of his liked to joke by saying that hotels were now his home. He didn’t know if the house was alone or not, but from what he had seen, it seemed to be.

Disappointment invaded him, but he couldn’t leave now. It was late and he also felt tired. Sehun was considering staying there and going back to Korea the next morning, when he suddenly heard the sound of running water. The disappointment left him just as quickly as it had come, replaced now by relief, excitement, and happiness.

For the second time that night, mini Sehun made a cameo.

“Of course he’s taking a shower! You didn’t even consider checking there, did you?”

Sehun shooed him away. He didn’t need this little person bothering his thoughts. He walked in, heading to the bathroom. He was about to open the door when mini Sehun appeared again.

“What are you pretending to do, dirty boy?!”

“Well, you just said it. I’m a dirty boy. Then I also need to take a shower, right?”

He was about to try again, when he realized that it wasn’t exactly a good idea. Not because the other was naked—it wouldn’t be the first time Sehun would see that body in its full splendor, anyway—but the chances of scaring him were high and that could cause an accident. Spending the night in a hospital wasn’t part of the plan _at all_. Therefore, he preferred to wait in the bed.

He sat there for a few minutes when he remembered that he should tell Junmyeon that he had arrived safe, so he took his phone and sent him a text. He then waited and, though he didn’t know for how long it had been, he felt it as an eternity—how much time could someone spend while texting Junmyeon, commenting Baekhyun’s weird post on Instagram, and playing a racing game that Jongin had downloaded on his phone a few days ago? Like an eternity, right? It didn’t matter anyway, because at that moment he realized that the shower was already closed.

Shortly after, the bathroom door opened, illuminating the room. The next scene was nothing more than,

“Hi, hyung!”

“What the—“

And after that, all that was heard was Yixing screaming.

 

 

It took about ten minutes to reassure the atmosphere between the screams of Yixing and the laughter of Sehun—well, it actually took them like three minutes to calm down Yixing and assure him that there wasn’t a thief in his bed. The rest of the time was what Sehun took to calm down his laughter.

Yixing made sure to glare at Sehun during all that time; arms crossed showing his ‘anger’. It took a lot of effort on his part to do it, though, because seeing Sehun laughing like that was a phenomenon he rarely had the opportunity to witness. A knot formed in Yixing’s chest when he realized that, in fact, seeing Sehun in general was something he could almost never do now.

When Sehun was already calm—or something near to be calm—Yixing asked, “Are you done or do you need more time to continue laughing?” Even if the question had sounded rude, he was now smiling.

Sehun looked at him and showed him his biggest smile. “What if I haven’t finished yet?”

“Then I’ll just leave you here until I hear absolute silence.”

“Wow…” Sehun put a hand to his chest, making him look like a big drama queen. “Why are you being so rude with the maknae?”

Yixing burst into laughter, making Sehun smile—if only Yixing knew how much Sehun had missed to hear that…

“Okay, then,” Yixing said while laughing. “I’m sorry, _Lord Maknae_. My sincerest apologies.” Yixing bowed and knelt before him, as if he were indeed paying his respects to a king. This only made Sehun laugh until he noticed that he could see a large part of Yixing’s thigh.

Sehun widened his eyes. He hadn’t realized that Yixing hadn’t moved from there since he had left the bathroom. He could feel his face turning red—thanks to heaven the only light on was the one in the bathroom. He didn’t want Yixing to see that now he was a tomato.

Because he was thinking about this naked boyfriend, Sehun didn’t realize that he had been in silence for more than he should.

Yixing was looking at him with a curious face. “Did I do something that angered you, Lord Maknae?” he asked, standing up. He smiled and that dimple of his made its entrance.

“What? No!” Sehun laughed slyly. “It’s just that— well, you…”

“Why are you so nervous?” Yixing’s smile was bigger now; the dimple deeper than before.

“No, I’m not, but… you’re only wearing a…”

Sehun didn’t have to say the whole sentence because Yixing got the point almost immediately. He looked down, and raising an eyebrow, then looked at Sehun. He finishing the sentence for him with a, “Towel.” Yixing was now smirking and Sehun couldn’t think anything else than how this man could change from being cute to sexy in just one second.

They stared at each other for a moment and Yixing surely noticed Sehun’s internal conflict.

“What’s going on?” he teasingly asked. “Is Lord Maknae thinking about something he shouldn’t at his young age?”

Sehun was speechless.

Weren’t they laughing just a minute ago?

The tension was practically palpable between them. He was sure that Yixing could feel it too and soon after, he began to move toward the bed.

Was it just Sehun or was the atmosphere getting hot? Dammit, not only hot. He felt like he was burning! He was nervous, indeed. He couldn’t believe that not long ago he had thought about going in the bathroom for a shower with his boyfriend, and now he felt like a prey just before being attacked by his predator.

When Yixing was standing in front of him, he slowly bent down to level his face with Sehun’s.

“What are you thinking about?” he said, almost in a whisper.

Sehun shook his head to make him know that he wasn’t thinking about anything—we all know this was a lie, but the situation didn’t allow him to utter any sentence. How could he when Yixing was very, very close, practically naked. And those red, soft lips that he liked to kiss so much were only centimeters away from his.

If Sehun had thought that waiting for Yixing to come out of the shower had been an eternity, at that moment he realized how wrong he had been—this _really_ felt like an eternity.

Yixing licked his lower lip and bit it, as if considering what to do.

He was literally torturing Sehun. Were they going to kiss or not?

He almost surrenders, when suddenly Yixing said, “Lord, with all due respect, I really want to kiss you. Would you allow me to do it?”

He didn’t need to say anything else.

Sehun locked their lips together, ending with the unnecessary martyrdom. The kiss was needed, as if with kissing they could save the world. Yixing began to move forward, causing Sehun to lie down. Yixing placed his body on him, with Sehun’s legs in the middle of his.

“So…” Yixing panted when they broke apart. “I can tell you really missed me, huh?”

“You have no idea…”

“Then let's make the wait worth it.”

Yixing bent down and kissed Sehun again. Their hands were everywhere, and soon their kisses turned heated, passionate. Both were more and more breathless, but not even the lack of air was enough to stop them. They needed to calm the fire that was already burning inside their bodies, demanding to be extinguished as only they knew how to extinguish it. They could continue kissing for the rest of their lives if possible, but they knew they couldn’t do it without air.

“I’m happy that you didn’t go to dress,” Sehun said, his chest heaving fast.

That made Yixing laugh. “How convenient, right?”

“And again, you have no idea…”

Sehun was biting his lip, admiring the Yixing’s torso. He didn’t have the biggest muscles in the world, but he had a well sculpted body thanks to the long hours of dancing and the regular visits to the gym; he was perfect to Sehun’s eyes. Yixing was one of the most beautiful people he had ever met, not only on the outside but on the inside as well. He felt completely hooked by this man.

“Yeah, I bet I don’t. From what I _do_ have an idea, though, is that you’re wearing too many clothes.”

“I can solve that.”

Sehun grabbed Yixing from the waist and rolled on the bed, positioning him under his body. He straddled him and started to remove his own clothes, very, _very_ slowly…

Yixing was desperate to touch his skin; to caress him; but this cruel man wasn’t helping. Quite the contrary, he was practically torturing him, and he knew that Sehun was well aware of that—was torturing each other their _thing?_ He was dying there, and it wasn’t until then that he realized how much he needed this moment. It had been a long time since the last time they had been like _this_.

Having video-calling sessions was the only way they had to release themselves. Once, Kyungsoo almost discovered Sehun and that was an experience that only increased the adrenaline at that time. They laughed at it for weeks, though, so yes, it was also fun somehow. Of course it was sexy too, but it wasn’t the same. It would _never_ be the same. He almost thought Sehun was taking his time just to punish him. After all, he was the one that was always away, making these type of occasions something really rare.

Yixing had already forgotten how to breathe properly by the time Sehun had his torso completely naked. The latter noticed it and smirked, trying hard not to laugh. Yixing’s face was both funny and sexy at the same time. He knew how needy Yixing was, and that always turned him on, but he wanted to postpone the moment a little to annoy Yixing, just because.

“Done. The clothes are off. Now what?” Sehun raised an eyebrow mischievously.

Had Yixing heard right? Of course the clothes weren’t off! His pants weren’t needed and they were still there!

“Uh… Baby, you’re still wearing your pants,” Yixing said, trying not to sound desperate.

“Yeah, I know… So what?”

Yixing couldn’t believe him! Was he really being like that in such an important moment?

“You’re still wearing the towel,” Sehun added. “We’re even.”

“Fuck, Sehun!” Yixing groaned in exasperation.

Sehun widened his eyes. What Yixing had said—or more the way he had said it—was… hot.

“Say that again…”

 _Is this man being serious?_ Yixing thought.

“Say it again and I’ll do it.”

Ok, the man was being serious.

“We’ll play as you fancy, won’t we?” Yixing said.

“You know I like things to be done my way.”

“You’re a spoiled brat.”

Sehun smirked and bent down, kissing Yixing’s neck. “The spoiled brat…” _Kiss_. “Would’ve already fulfilled…” _Kiss._ “Your wishes long ago…” _Kiss._ “If you had already done…” _Kiss._ “What he asked for.”

“ _Asked_?” Yixing let a shaky breath out. “It sounded more like an order to me.”

Sehun knew that he was driving Yixing crazy. His neck was a really sensitive spot and kissing it could turn the man into a moaning mess without doing anything else. He spread little bites all over his neck, tracing all the way up to his jawline, moving to bite his earlobe, just to return to his neck. He kept on doing this until the man under him started to pant.

Yixing placed his hands in Sehun’s arms, trying hard not to bury his nails in the soft skin. Everything Sehun was doing had him completely intoxicated. Not only because of the action itself, but also because he missed this little brat’s touch. Having him right there, after so much time, felt unreal. But suddenly Sehun straightened and Yixing almost whined. Everything was going pretty well, why had he stopped?

“What? Is something wrong?” Sehun asked.

“No, Sehun, everything’s alright down here! It’s like a hobby for me to let my boyfriend turn me on without actually going further than some kisses. I really enjoy that.”

Sehun burst into laughter. At this rate, he was already sure that their sexual life was based in some type of _let’s-torture-each-other_ kink.

“You know what you have to do for me to get rid of my pants.”

Yixing stared at him but remained silent, a clear sign that he wouldn’t let Sehun win. Of course Sehun wasn’t having any of this, so just to persuade Yixing to do anything he wanted, he started to grind. He moved slowly in what he was pretty sure was Yixing’s crotch. Yixing gasped and widened his eyes. Sehun knew that it was just a matter of time before his boyfriend began to get hard and not long after he had started moving sensually, he felt a bulge under his pants—it only caused him to get hard as well.

Sehun had to fight against his own instincts because all he wanted to do was to get rid of each layer of clothing that prevented his skin from being in contact with Yixing’s. To travel every inch of Yixing’s body and leave kisses and bites wherever his fingers wandered. Yet he didn’t do that. He just had to wait more; just a little bit more before he could allow himself to do it. He had to make sure that Yixing would say what he wanted at least once because, why not?

But Yixing knew what Sehun’s intentions were and he wouldn’t lose that easily. He didn’t _want_ to lose that easily. It was something hard to do, though, because all the forecasts indicated that he would lose. Sehun knew how to move. He wasn’t part of the dance line just because, and those artistic skills had a big influence in the way Sehun moved in bed. He knew how to move his hips. How to make them dance back and forth on Yixing’s crotch and with how much pressure he should do it to drive Yixing insane; to make him _beg_.

Without noticing, Yixing closed his eyes and his lips slightly parted. Soft moans left his lips from time to time. His body was beginning to react on its own, but this was something he could use on his favor. Surely Sehun knew how to make him suffer, but Yixing also had some tricks up his sleeve. He was well aware that one of Sehun’s weaknesses was listening to him moan and he was pretty sure that Sehun wouldn’t stand too long before giving in. The only thing he had to do was to allow himself enjoy the moment; the moans would come by themselves.

Yixing’s hands found Sehun’s thighs and he slowly began to stroke them with Sehun’s grinds slow pace. It was inevitable to hear how Sehun was struggling to suppress the sounds that his own movements were causing. Yixing lost himself in this and he literally blocked everything that could distract him from feeling the pleasure Sehun was giving him. When he felt another moan coming out from his throat, he was more than glad to let it free.

Sehun, on the other hand, kept his eyes opened all the time, never leaving Yixing’s face. He saw every single expression Yixing was making and this only turned him on even more. He was already regretting not having taken off his pants. His erection was painfully hard now and it didn’t find enough space inside that piece of fabric.

Yixing groaned and Sehun had to bite his lip not to moan, too. He wanted to grind faster. He needed to listen to such heavenly sounds more; to make his brain remember how it was to listen to Yixing moaning his name over and over again. But he refrain himself from doing so. He wouldn’t lose; at least not now that he was almost sure that Yixing was sinfully moaning just to make him lose control. That’s why instead of grinding faster, he bent down and started to kiss Yixing’s neck again—if Yixing wanted to play dirty, he would play dirty as well.

When his wet lips got in contact with the skin, Yixing gasped. Sehun traced with his tongue every inch of skin he was founding, his hips never stopping. Soft whimpers reached his ears and he smirked. Even if he didn’t fasten his pace, adding the kisses was bringing Yixing’s guard down.

Yixing’s mind was clouded. The only thing on it was that he wanted to get lost in the moment. Sehun’s hips were still moving with the same slow, torturing pace, and he wanted him to start moving faster. He shoved his hips together with Sehun’s, pressing their crotches. Sehun wasn’t expecting it, and after Yixing’s movement, a moan left his throat without a warning. This sudden sound made Yixing moan as well and wanting to feel that pleasure one more time, he bucked his hips again—such a huge mistake.

His movement only made Sehun moan once more, and he heard it louder than the first time. The sound only made his mouth react before his brain could process what was going on, and before he could stop it, he moaned out a, _“Fuck, Sehun…”_

Yixing quickly opened his eyes, knowing that he had already lost. He then realized that his hands were now stroking the younger’s butt. He wondered when he had started acting before thinking, but this thought left his mind as soon as it had arrived, because Sehun suddenly pressed down a little bit harder and Yixing’s eyes fell shut again.

Sehun seemed not to register what had happened. The only thing that left his mouth was a groan, with his mouth was pressing on the crook of Yixing’s neck. After grinding a few more times, however, with something that was between a moan and a whisper, he murmured, “Please say that again…”

Sehun’s hot breath sent shivers all over Yixing’s body. The only thing Yixing wanted was to get rid of those pants that had been a nuisance since the very beginning. He tried to speak without success, only mumbling incoherent sentences that of course Sehun couldn’t register. Not that the latter actually cared when the only thing on his mind was the need of hearing Yixing saying his name again and again.

“Please, baby… Repeat what you said… Please…”

Sehun was panting heavily and Yixing almost thought that he would pass out for the lack of air, but his movements of his hips told him something different. Sehun’s hips moved faster and he heard him panting right next to his ear. Yixing tried to speak once more, and fortunately, this time he did manage to say something understandable.

“Your pants… Take them— _ahh…_ Take them off…”

But Sehun didn’t react. His mind was clouded and the only thing he did was to keep on grinding. The friction between each other’s hardened crotches felt really nice.

Yixing knew that they wouldn’t last longer and he didn’t want their first orgasm after so long to happen thanks to only grinding their hips together. He had to make him react before they both reached that point of no return, so he turned his head to reach out Sehun’s ear. He sucked his earlobe and this made Sehun moan louder.

“Only my pants or my boxers as well?” Sehun panted out.

Yixing let out a groan and the desperation to feel Sehun’s skin against his own skin was starting to rise again. His hands squeezed Sehun’s butt and desperately, he whimpered, “Sehun, _please_ …”

Sehun couldn’t handle it anymore. A few more grinds and he got off Yixing. He removed his pants, setting his dick free. He positioned himself again on the bed and when he was on top of Yixing, he bent down to kiss him. Hard. Sehun ran his tongue through Yixing’s lower lip asking for permission to explore his mouth. Yixing accepted him immediately and soon their tongues were dancing with each other, exploring places that they hadn’t visited for a long time. Hands were tracing all over their bodies and it was until then that Sehun realized that there was still something that wasn’t supposed to be there.

“Hey… Lord Maknae orders you to remove this towel immediately. He doesn’t like it at all,” Sehun said after breaking their kiss, caressing Yixing’s sides.

Yixing snorted. “Go ahead and remove it, Sir. I think I don’t need it anymore.”

Sehun straightened again, determined on getting rid of the piece of fabric that was disturbing him. Yixing raised his hips a little to allow him to remove it, and when it was finally thrown somewhere on the floor of the room, he felt relieved. Now he was able to be in contact with the other’s body without any pants or towels preventing it from happen. Sehun bent down again and resumed what they were doing, and though he still felt the urge to feel such a good pleasure as soon as possible, he changed the speed of their kisses.

He wanted to assure Yixing that there was no need to hurry because now they were together, and nothing would make them stay away from each other for the time being. He gave Yixing some kisses before moving to his neck. After he was sure that there was skin that hadn’t been kissed, he moved to his torso, spreading wet kisses along it. Starting from his collarbones, Sehun went slowly down his chest, staying there for a while. One hand caressing a nipple, while his mouth was occupied with the other one. He then moved his mouth to the other side and repeated the same, slow action.

Yixing began to moan again not long after, keeping his hands on Sehun’s head, stroking his hair gently. Shivers ran run along the Sehun’s back, which only made Sehun want to continue with his path of kisses all the way down to the place he knew would make Yixing feel good. But right before arriving to such magic place, he stopped and a loud whimper reached his ears. His eyes looked at the source of the sound and Sehun could almost swear that the man in front of him was the need in person.

When he believed that he had already seen everything, it was in moments like these when he could see Yixing in his most vulnerable self that Sehun realized how lucky he was; because he was able to witness something that nobody else was allowed to see.

Yixing was a needy mess and he couldn’t look hotter than this, yet at the same time he couldn’t look more beautiful. Eyes closed, mouth slightly opened, disheveled hair. A thin layer of sweat all over his torso; chest heaving in an unsteady pace—Sehun was delighted with such a view.

“Sehun…” Yixing interrupted his thoughts.

Yixing’s cock was more than hard, precum glistening the tip. Not wanting to make Yixing wait any longer, Sehun wrapped his hand around his cock and began to stroke him. He started with slow pumps and Yixing seemed to like them—if he thrusting his hips with the same pace as Sehun’s hand could mean anything. Not long after, he bent down and put Yixing’s dick inside his mouth, making him inhale sharply.

Though having his own cock inside Yixing was something he loved to feel, Sehun also enjoyed having Yixing’s inside his mouth. Listening to his boyfriend gasp when he increased his pace; or groan when he sucked harder; and knowing that he had total control over what reactions Yixing could have, was something he wouldn’t dare to change for anything in the world.

Bobbing his head, Sehun tried to take Yixing in as much as he could. His tongue licking all the way up; one hand stroking the skin that wasn’t inside his mouth while he sucked around the head, just to go down again.

Yixing was panting hard, and it was after a particular swirl of Sehun’s tongue that he shoved his hips up, a loud moan leaving his throat. Yixing felt hazy, his arousal increasing even more. Using his elbows as support, he looked down. He found Sehun’s swollen, wet lips, and he whimpered, making his boyfriend met eyes with him.

Sehun, still deepening Yixing’s cock inside his mouth, raised an eyebrow, as if asking him what the problem was.

Yixing bit his lower lip, trying to calm himself down a little. He failed when Sehun, without taking his eyes off Yixing’s, seductively sucked the tip of his cock. Yixing moaned, bending his head back; closing his eyes and clutching the sheets tightly. The fire inside his body was already burning him completely, and he wanted— no, he _needed_ to feel Sehun inside him _now_.

“Sehun,” he cried out. “Stop.”

Sehun, however, kept on sucking and pressing his tongue all over his cock, unwilling to stop pleasing the man under him—not even when he could feel his own dick hard and throbbing, anxious to feel Yixing’s heat.

“Please… Sehun, I— _ahh_ —“A moaned interrupted him. _“I need you.”_

Sehun then decided that making Yixing wait even longer would be mean. What kind of boyfriend would he be if he behaved that way? So after pulling the cock out of his mouth, he sat on the bed to reach for the condoms and lube where he knew Yixing kept them.

Yixing on the other hand, could only look expectantly at each of Sehun’s movements; panting hard, eagerly waiting for him to cover his fingers with lube.

When Sehun was sure that he had applied more than enough of said substance on his fingers, he looked at Yixing as if asking for permission. He received a smile that, were if not for the scenario they were currently facing, would’ve melted his heart. Without wasting more time, he slowly buried one finger into Yixing’s entrance, while bending down to brush their lips together.

Sehun inserted a second finger after a while, and although Yixing gasped with the sudden addition, he soon started to rock his hips, pain already forgotten and arousal clouding his mind. It was no long after that Sehun, with a quick movement, hit Yixing’s prostate. Yixing moaned and he repeatedly moved his hand, seeking to hit that same spot again. When the only sounds that left Yixing’s mouth were whimpers and moans, Sehun knew that a third finger could be added. He played with his fingers trying to prepare Yixing as best as he could to avoid causing him any pain, and when the elder breathed a _‘Sehun’_ out, he knew that he was ready.

He pulled his fingers out and put a pillow under Yixing’s waist to lift his hips a little and give himself more access. He slid a condom onto his cock, and spurting some lube on his palm, Sehun pumped himself a few times. He settled back above Yixing, and trying to make sure that Yixing was comfortable, asked, “You okay?”

Smiling, Yixing nodded softly, and Sehun captured him in a slow kiss, not being able to resist the urge to kiss those plump lips again.

Yixing, however, wasn’t having any of this. He traced with his tongue Sehun’s lower lip. When Sehun let him enter, he captured his tongue, sucking it hard, earning a loud growl from the younger. He kept on playing with their tongues until Sehun clashed their lips together once again, kissing Yixing harder.

A strong bite left Yixing moaning, and he decided right in that moment that they had had enough foreplay.

“Oh Sehun, inside me.”

Sehun smirked down and licked the corner of Yixing’s mouth. “Who’s acting like a spoiled brat now?”

“Please…” Yixing whimpered, bucking his hips up.

“As you command, Mr. Zhang.”

Sehun kissed him again, and placing the tip of his dick in Yixing’s entrance, slowly began to introduce it.

The movement left them groaning and panting hard. They both knew how much they had needed this; how they had _wanted_ this. Nothing could compare with the feeling of being connected in the most intimate way, and finally being able to do it was more than relieving.

Sehun gave Yixing some time to adjust himself, kissing him in the meantime. And when the man beneath him slightly clenched around his throbbing dick, he knew that he could now move.

He started slowly, with the intention of enjoying each second of it; not wanting to rush it.

All that could be heard in that room were pants and moans, both of them evidently enjoying each movement of their connected hips. Sehun kept bumping into Yixing, seeking that ecstasy that he knew would have both of them seeing stars. He felt Yixing’s hands clutched around his hair, and the soft pull had him wanting more.

He increased his pace, wishing to hear Yixing moan his name every now and then. He had always known that Yixing’s voice was something that he would love to listen for the rest of his life, and even more if he was singing, but it was in these moments when he loved it the most. Call him a macho if you want, but being the reason why Yixing was sounding that amazingly only increased Sehun’s own arousal, which urged him to please the other as much as he could.

It was after a specific buck of his hips that got Yixing almost screaming, that Sehun knew he had hit the right spot. He adjusted himself, and wanting to devour all Yixing’s sounds, he kissed him roughly, biting those lips that had always made him go crazy.

Between kisses, caresses, and loud moaning, they both were in their highest point. There was no way back now that Sehun had found Yixing’s prostate and the heat he was feeling around his dick was only speeding his own release.

It was just too much for him, and Sehun noticed how he began to lose his rhythm. His climax was approaching. Not wanting to get there before Yixing, the latter’s release seeming more important than his own, he reached to bump Yixing’s cock again. He buried his face in the crook of Yixing’s neck, spreading wet kisses on it and occasionally biting the soft skin; knowing that it would only put the other over the edge.

“Se— _ahh!_ Sehun… I’m— _fuck!“_

Yixing felt more than overwhelmed with everything Sehun was doing. He quivered under him, feeling how he was near. A few more pounds, and Yixing felt his muscles contracting; his throbbing member finally getting the release it was anticipating.

It only pushed Sehun there too. Not long after, Yixing felt him shaking, with a last _‘Yixing’_ moaned out of his lips.

They stayed there for a while, waiting until they were down cloud 9. Their chests were heaving harshly and they panted as if they had run a marathon. They didn’t know for how long they stayed there, until Yixing broke the silence.

“Have you fallen asleep?”

A muffled laugh could be heard, Yixing’s neck preventing it from sounding louder. Sehun only shook his head, apparently tired enough not to want to talk.

Yixing then moved his hand to play with Sehun’s hair, and contentedly sighed.

“We need to move from here. We’re sticky,” he said.

He didn’t hear a sound, and he almost panics when he suddenly felt Sehun kissing his neck again. He let out a choked gasp, still feeling a little overwhelmed.

“Hey, wh-what are you doing?”

“I’m just kissing,” Sehun fast replied, soon going back to kissing Yixing’s neck. He lazily kissed until he heard Yixing let out a soft moan. He moved to reach the other’s ear, and he then purred, “What do you think about having a round 2?”

“I’m kinda old, you know? I don’t have as much energy as you, kid…” Yixing mumbled, feeling Sehun’s lips playing with his earlobe. “But I think this grandpa can keep up with you.”

Sehun snorted and heaved himself on his elbows to look at Yixing. “What a great way to ruin the mood.” He saw how the other’s eyes glinted with both mischievous and want, and so he leaned down to steal a kiss from him. “You sure you want to deal with this, old man?” he asked when their lips separated.

“Go ahead, Mr. Oh. I’ve waited a long time for this and I’m eager to catch up with all that sex we didn’t have.”

“Okay, then don’t move,” Sehun mischievously said, pulling out from Yixing and getting off the bed.

He removed the used condom and threw it the bin. He got some tissues and cleaned himself, to then move and clean Yixing. When he was sure that everything was in order—as much it could be—he took out a new condom. Once having it along his length, he placed himself over Yixing again.

“Ready, grandpa?”

“I’ve never felt more ready in my life.”

Sehun smiled and leant down to kiss Yixing, officially inaugurating their second round.

 

 

They both ended up lying next to each other, already clean, but still naked and tired. They remained lying down for a long time without speaking, until Yixing decided to break the silence.

“So… We can say that tonight we did everything we didn’t do in three months, right?”

“Not really. I feel like we just covered the first month.”

“We still have two months more, then, but not tonight.” Yixing laughed. “I’m tired and thirsty.”

“Thirsty? Didn’t you just have enough?” Sehun raised his eyebrows. “Wow, you’re insatiable!”

Yixing laughed again and punched him on the arm. “I’m talking about water!”

“Yeah, sure…”

“Stop it!” Now they were both laughing. “No, really, I need water. I’m going to the kitchen. Do you want something?”

“Nah, I’m okay.”

Yixing got out the bed and put on some clothes.

“You know what? I do want something,” Sehun said. “Could you bring me some energy, please? I had already forgotten how much it takes to be with you. You’re really a demanding person.”

“And I thought I was the grandpa here!” Yixing threw a pillow, striking Sehun right on the face. “But even so, it’s not something that bothers you, anyway,” he said as he left the bedroom.

“That’s what you think!!!” Sehun shouted, so Yixing could hear from afar.

He heard him laughing in the distance and chuckled. He also got out of the bed and pulled out a pair of comfortable shorts and a shirt from Yixing’s closet, and put them on—they weren’t the right size for him, but being honest, he didn’t feel like going down and looking for some clothes in his suitcase. Those would be his pajamas tonight. Already dressed, Sehun went back to bed and tried to accommodate the sheets again.

When Yixing returned without being thirsty—for water, of course—he found Sehun already dressed and lying on the bed.

“Are those my shorts and… my shirt?”

“Yes, they are! They look better on me, don’t they?” Sehun answered cheekily.

“I don’t think so.” Yixing smiled at him. He climbed onto the bed, and Sehun opened his arms to receive him. Yixing cuddled next to him, letting the former embrace him.

”Is your thirst for water calmed down already?”

“Yes, it is.” Yixing chuckled. “Thanks for your concern, Lord Maknae.”

“I could get used to you calling me Lord Maknae, you know?”

“No way! I’m not calling you like that ever again.”

“Why not?” Sehun whined. “If you call me like that, I could always call you… King of China, maybe?”

Yixing laughed out loud. This kid really was something. “Don’t you think that’s too much?”

“We know that you don’t deserve such a title, but it doesn’t hurt to lie just a little.”

“Wow… What did I do to deserve to be with someone as considerate and honest as you, Mr. Oh?

“Well, we also know that you don’t deserve to be with me either, but that’s another stor—“ Sehun yelped, being interrupted by Yixing suddenly straddling him.

Yixing attacked Sehun’s chest and arms with punches. It was supposed to make Sehun feel threatened, Sehun was laughing hysterically instead. Of course Yixing didn’t mean to hurt him, so he joined the man beneath him and both laughed like crazy. When their laughter dissipated, they stared at each other, smiling. Yixing stretched out his hand to caress Sehun’s cheek, and then bent down to kiss him softly.

 _This was what happiness should be,_ Sehun thought.

“Come on, get out of me. I want to hug you,” he said.

“As you demand, sir!”

Yixing cuddled next to Sehun again, placing an arm around his waist.

“I almost forgot what it feels like to hold you like this,“ Sehun mumbled.

Yixing stayed in silence for a moment. “I missed you, too.” He played with Sehun’s shirt and then added, “But now that I think about it, why didn’t you tell me you were coming? I would’ve picked you up, prepared dinner or something. Have you already eaten? I think the answer is no.”

“Yeah, but I’m not hungry. Our manager-hyung made us eat a lot before going to the airport.” Sehun laughed slightly. “He asked me to tell you that he says hi, by the way.”

“Why didn’t he say it by himself?” Yixing laughed at their manager’s antics.

“I feel that he was thinking that we would go directly to fuck or something. He probably wanted to keep the image out of his brain.”

“He’s a wise man.” Yixing snorted, yet feeling embarrassed that everyone thought they only thought about sex. “But still, you haven’t told me why you didn’t mention you were coming.”

“I didn’t want to tell you. I was in a mission and I couldn’t tell you anything about it.”

“Are you the new James Bond?” Yixing laughed. “Can I be the killer of the story?”

Sehun burst into laughter. “This story isn’t about killers, hyung!”

“Oh, okay… Sorry.” And Yixing’s laughter joined Sehun’s. “Then what’s that mission about?”

“It has something to do with you, but I can’t tell you anything. It’s a secret.”

“Now I’m even more curious. Share your secret with me!”

Sehun felt Yixing’s gaze on him and he knew this was the moment he had been waiting for.

“It’s just that I’ve been thinking and…” He paused, not completely confident to finish his sentence.

Yixing noticed how Sehun changed to a more serious tone. He could also feel that Sehun was a little bit nervous, so he sat on the bed to be able to look him in the eyes. He didn’t know why, but he felt like they were about to cross a delicate line—should he be worried?

“And… what?” he calmly asked.

“Well… It’s been a while since the last time you went to Korea, and…” Sehun looked away from the other, now staring at his hands. Why was he that nervous? He didn’t know.

“Hey, look at me,” Yixing said, stretching his right hand to hold Sehun’s. Sehun did as he was told, and when their eyes met, Yixing knew were this was leading. He asked anyway. “What is it?”

Sehun sighed, still nervous about how this would go. “Since it’s been a while, I was wondering if you might like to go back home with me…”

He looked away again. It was done. Now he only had to wait for the other to answer ‘yes’ to feel that his mission had been perfectly accomplished, but Yixing seemed to taken aback.

They had _indeed_ crossed a delicate line, Yixing confirmed, but how was he supposed to talk about that with Sehun, when it was something that even he himself was avoiding talking about? He needed to think about it, but he hadn’t enough time— _how_ _could he earn some time?_

“Hey, I know this is a big issue, but we should go and eat something, first. I don’t want you to starve yourself,” Yixing said. That would give him some time. “Let’s go. I’ll cook you something and then we can continue talking.” He moved to get off the bed, but Sehun held his hand harder and stopped him from going.

“No, please! This is important, Xing.”

Yixing hesitated for a moment. He was scared about where this could go, but he gave in even so.

“Fine…” He sighed and moved back to his previous spot. “So… your mission is to take me back to Korea with you?”

“Basically.” Sehun nodded, moving as well to be seated in front of Yixing.

“And you came here just to take me back?”

“Not really. In a beginning I just wanted to see you, but then the idea came, and I said _‘why not_? _’_ It’s not as if it’s something complicated to do, right?”

Yixing remained silent.

“Are we going back together?” Sehun asked, afraid of the other’s answer.

“I…”

“Do you have something important to do here?”

“Not really, but—“

“Do you have any schedules for these coming days?”

“Not that I know, but—“

“Then you can go with me!”

“Hunnie…”

“It’ll be just a few days, promise!”

“Hun, listen…”

“Let’s spend our free days all together! We could go and have dinner and watch movies in the dorm and—“

“Sehun!”

Sehun then stayed in silence.

Was Yixing going to decline?

“Look, I would really, _really_ , like to go with you, but you know it’s not that simple. I think it’s better for _all_ of us if you go back without me.”

Okay, he _did_ decline. This wasn’t how things were supposed to go. Sehun removed his hand from Yixing’s hold and harshly said, “Just tell me that you don’t want to go home with me, okay?”

“Wait, what? I didn’t say that!”

“What you just said sounded exactly like that!” Sehun began to raise his voice.

“No, it didn’t! Did you hear what I said?” And now Yixing was raising his voice as well.

“Yeah, I did, and I understood your point perfectly!”

“No, you understood what you wanted to understand and not what it really is.”

“I _did_ understand what it really is, Xing.” Sehun frowned. “Don’t try to change the meaning behind your words.”

“If you just listened to me instead of focusing on getting angry with me, you would know that that’s not what I meant.”

“Hyung, you’re just trying to find an excuse to stay away from us! From me!” Sehun shook his head, feeling a lump in his chest. “You’ve already said that you have nothing to do here at the moment, but you’re also saying that I should go back alone! Doesn’t it sound like you don’t want to go home with me? It seems like you’re trying to push me— us away!”

“You know that it’s not like that, Sehun!” Yixing felt how little by little the calmness was slipping away, and he didn’t like that. “I would really do anything to let you accomplish this plan of yours, but you know that I can’t. It’s not my fault that things had gone crazy. You know that right now being with all of you is more complicated than it should.”

”I know! I know it’s not your fault. I know that this situation is tougher than we thought, but we barely see you! And those few opportunities have been decreasing recently. I’ve missed you, and—“

“I’ve missed you too and I’m really sorry…” Yixing ran his fingers through his hair. “But this isn’t only about us. We must take into consideration that whatever we do will affect not only the both of us, but the other members, too.” He raised his hands to cup Sehun’s face and added, “I’m so, so sorry, baby, but I think this time is no _._ ”

Sehun huffed and pushed his face away from Yixing. “Saying that you’re sorry doesn’t change anything.”

“Please don’t be so harsh.”

“You’ve already said that you missed me. I’ve missed you a lot, too! Then why can’t you make your actions coincide with your words?”

“Sehun, I…” Yixing sighed, trying to calm down. “I know it’s been a really long time and I haven’t been present in many important moments. But that doesn’t mean that I don’t care about all of you. Even less that I don’t want to be with the group… or with you.”

Sehun remained silent. He knew deep inside that everything Yixing had told him was true. But a part of him was hurt, and unfortunately, that part was the one that was controlling him at that moment.

“You know what?” Sehun said, rubbing his face. “It’s late, I’m tired, and we’re not going anywhere with this. We should better sleep.”

He really wanted to clarify everything. Maybe he could even convince Yixing to say yes if he kept trying, but he didn’t feel strong enough to do so. He preferred to stop before he ended saying things he would regret.

“Sehun—”

“Goodnight, hyung.”

And with this, he lay down on the bed, getting settled to sleep.

Yixing sighed and said, “Yeah, goodnight…”

He had never liked the idea of letting Sehun sleep being upset. He didn’t like to give up that easily either, but Sehun was already lying down, his back facing him. He was more than aware that that indicated that the boy wouldn’t say anything else. He lay next to Sehun, his gaze on his back. He wondered how they had ended up in this situation.

Of course not being able to perform with EXO was the main problem. That not only meant that he would have to be absent in all the activities of the group, but also that he would have to stay away from the members. That wasn’t something he wanted at all, because one of the things he most enjoyed to do was to be on and off the stage with them.

Sure, he liked being recognized as Zhang Yixing because that meant that all his work was being appreciated, but being Lay of EXO was something that also made him happy. After all, Lay gave him the opportunity to be on a stage, doing what he loved to do. Nonetheless, it all got complicated when everyone realized that he couldn’t be Lay of EXO, but only Yixing, until everything calmed down. A lot of things that were completely out of their hands were going on, and unfortunately there was nothing they could do to fix it. Things would adjust themselves when they had to, but no one knew if that would happen anytime soon.

Deep inside he knew that this situation would end up hurting his relationship with Sehun, yet he didn’t think it would be _this_ soon.  Although he didn’t know who was responsible of this—if there was even a responsible one—all this whole problem made him feel as if he were the one to blame for everything. And maybe if this wasn’t completely his fault, he was still the cause of Sehun’s sadness and disappointment, and Yixing felt that it made him responsible in some way.

His mind was running a mile per second. He felt desperate to find a solution that wouldn’t hurt either of them, but he needed to know what Sehun was exactly feeling so they could come to a solution. Then the best thing to do was to sleep and wait for a new day to come.

_Tomorrow morning I’ll make breakfast, and we’ll talk, the whole day if needed. Everything will be clarified and then we would enjoy this time together._

Those were Yixing’s thoughts, and he was sure that, even if they weren’t okay right now, tomorrow will be another day.

They would be fine.

They _had_ to be fine.

And he fell asleep thinking about those things, unconscious that the boy that was next to him wasn’t thinking the same way as him.

 

 

Yixing woke up with the sunlight coming in through the balcony, feeling the heat on his skin. He would’ve got out of bed, but today he didn’t feel like it, so… nope. The sun could bother him as much as it wanted. He definitely wouldn’t get up. He stayed like this for a while when he realized that this day wasn’t like the other days. Probably he wasn’t completely awake, but he didn’t need to be full awake to remember that he hadn’t slept alone.

_Sehun…_

Yes! Sehun was there.

He rolled on the bed, his back now facing the sun, eyes still closed. He moved to the other side of the bed to be close to his boyfriend, but he kept on moving, and moving, and moving, and he couldn’t get to touch him. It seemed that Sehun was three miles away, but his bed wasn’t _that_ big. He half opened his eyes and what he saw wasn’t exactly the scenery he was expecting to see—the spot on the bed next to him was empty.

And then his eyes opened wide.

He was _alone_. There was _no_ Sehun.

He quickly got out of bed. He knocked on the bathroom door, but there was no answer. Then he walked to the other rooms, and no, he wasn’t there either. If he wasn’t up there, he was probably on the floor below, so Yixing went down stairs.

“Sehun?” he called.

The kitchen was empty.

“Sehun-ah?”

The studio was empty.

“Lord Maknae?”

The living room wasn’t empty.

Yixing let out a sigh of relief when he saw that Sehun was sleeping on the couch. He watched him from afar, wondering when he had ended up leaving him alone in bed. He moved and squatted next to him. He had spent months wishing he could see him sleeping again. To his eyes, in his sleep Sehun looked like an angel. He was just so, so handsome, and he looked so calm, without reflecting all the stress caused by their responsibilities as idols.

Yixing felt completely mesmerized by this boy, and with this sight, he promised himself that it wouldn’t matter how difficult it could be to keep their relationship stable, he wouldn’t give up. Because in spite of everything, Sehun was the person whom he wanted to be with, and nothing would change that.

He sighed and asked out loud, “At what point did I start doing things wrong?”

It was more a rhetorical question than anything, but he wished that he could find the answer, anyway. He combed Sehun’s disheveled fringe with his fingers, his forehead now in sight. He took Sehun’s hand and planted a very soft kiss, and then he just caressed it, forming small circles in it.

Yixing stayed in the same position, just watching him sleep. His legs began to hurt, but he didn’t care. He didn’t want to move, fearing that if he did, Sehun could wake up. However, the latter began to stir, indicating that he was already awakening.

Sehun slowly opened his eyes, trying to register where he was—this place didn’t look like Yixing’s room.

“Good Morning…” Yixing said with a slight smile drawn on his face.

Sehun almost smiled back when he noticed Baekhyun’s video games behind Yixing. It was then when he remembered that he was in the living room and the reason why he had ended up sleeping there, so he immediately let go of Yixing's hand.

“Good Morning,” he answered, straightening himself to sit on the couch.

“Did you sleep well?”

“Yes.”

He didn’t dare to see Yixing in the eyes, afraid to find something he wouldn’t like. Sehun knew how hard it would be to stand firm if he saw even a hint of something that weren’t happiness in that beautiful pair of eyes, so he preferred to stare at the wall in front of him.

“That’s good,” Yixing nodded. “So… what would you like to eat for breakf—”

“You don’t have to act like we’re okay,” Sehun suddenly interrupted, catching Yixing off guard.

“What? I’m not acti—“

“Listen, I would really appreciate if you just leave me alone for a while,“ Sehun interrupted again, his eyes finally looking at Yixing’s. “Please.”

He could see the surprise and sadness that his words were causing Yixing, so he turned to look at the garden, tears already accumulating in the corner of his eyes.

“O-Okay… I’ll go and take a shower, then,” Yixing mumbled.

He got up and walked away, and it was then that Sehun let his tears drop.

He didn’t like to behave like this. It really hurt him to treat Yixing that way as much as his actions hurt Yixing, but he couldn’t pretend that everything was fine. He needed time to think, and Yixing treating him so lovingly wouldn’t allow him to do so. Both needed to be away for a while to be able to clear up their minds, so he cleaned his tears and without hesitation, got up from the couch, heading to the bedroom.

 

 

“What’s going on?” Yixing asked.

When he came down, already showered, the first thing he saw was Sehun’s suitcase by the door, with the owner standing next to it.

“I’m going home,” Sehun said.

“Wait, what? Why? You can’t go right now. You can’t leave things just like that!” Yixing looked at the clock that was hanging on the kitchen’s wall. “It’s 9 a.m. It hasn’t even been 12 hours since you arrived!”

“I know, but… let’s take it as an express visit.” Sehun smiled slightly.

“Sehun, please, just… We really need to talk.”

“Yeah, I know that, too. And will. Just not today.” Sehun shrugged slightly. “I think it’s better if I home and you stay here. We’ll have the opportunity to think about what happened, _on our own_.”

That wasn’t something Yixing was expecting. They were supposed to talk—all day if needed, remember?

“What happened last night wasn’t a simple discussion about who dances better. Or how long it will take for Junmyeon or Kyungsoo to freak out with Baekhyun’s antics, Sehun. I think we should talk about it now.”

Sehun sighed and when he spoke, his voice sounded slightly irritated. “Are we going to argue about when we’re supposed to talk about it, as well? Because if that’s the case, then I’m out.”

“What are you saying? Of course not.“ Yixing sighed, too. “You’re not going to give in, are you?”

“I don’t think so.”

“Okay, then.” Yixing sighed, again. “How are you going to return? I mean, you can’t travel back from here.”

“I’m going back to Japan; I’ll fly to Korea from there.”

“Have you already booked the flight?”

Sehun nodded.

“Do you want me to take you to the airport?”

Sehun shook his head. “I’ve already called our manager-hyung. He’ll send someone.”

“Why isn’t he coming pick you up?”

“I might’ve woken him up.” Sehun scratched his forehead. “I was already ready to leave, so he said the van would come and then we would pick him up,” he said casually with a shrug of his shoulders.

“Then could you please let me cook you something? You haven’t eaten in who knows how long.”

Sehun let out a sound that could be interpreted as a… _laugh_? And said, “I think I’ll say yes to that.”

Yixing offered him a little smile and went to the kitchen, Sehun walking right after him.

“What would you like to eat?” Yixing asked opening the fridge.

“What would you like to cook?”

Yixing popped out from behind the fridge and said, “Actually, I’m willing to cook you anything.”

“Could you make some _[bibimguksu](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Bibim-guksu)_ _?”_

“Sure thing.”

Yixing proceeded to cook and Sehun to look.

That was normally their cooking routine, with the slightly difference that they weren’t talking and Sehun wasn’t being clingy. Sehun used to back-hug Yixing every time he would cut vegetables or wait for something to get out of the oven. Yixing actually loved to feel Sehun’s presence in the kitchen; it made him feel secure, even if they were only preparing their meals.

But today… Well, it was pretty obvious that the atmosphere wasn’t exactly one full of love, so he cooked without being interrupted and Sehun looked without interrupting.

When the food was done, they both sat in the counter and ate in silence. It wasn’t uncomfortable, yet it wasn’t a peaceful silence either. Both boys really wanted to dissipate the weird vibe between them, but none of them got to say something that wouldn’t sound forced just to break the silence, so they preferred to remain like that.

They finished eating and moved to wash the dishes. They didn’t need to say anything since it was almost a habit of them to do it together—Yixing washing and Sehun drying. The odd atmosphere hadn’t yet dissipated, but at least they were doing something together; in silence, but together.

Sehun was drying the last glass when a car horn sounded, signaling that it was time to leave. Yixing looked at him and Sehun offered him a little smile. Yixing took Sehun’s suitcase out of the house, and they stopped at the main entrance.

The man who was driving the car respectfully greeted them and took the suitcase from Yixing to put it in the car’s trunk. He then went back to the car again, letting the couple say goodbye, but neither of them said nor did anything.

Sehun was standing next to the car, looking everywhere but Yixing.

 Standing in front of Sehun, Yixing stared at him, trying to formulate a good speech that would make him stay. But Sehun was faster, and before he could say anything, he spoke.

“See you later, okay?”

“Are you sure you don’t want to stay and talk?”

Sehun shook his head. “It’s better this way, hyung.”

“Please let me know when you arrive.”

Sehun nodded and faced the car, but before getting in, he turned to Yixing again. He leaned in, and after placing a soft kiss on his check, softly said, “I love you.”

Yixing stared at him, completely in shock— _what had he said?!_

He wasn’t able to more, or even speak, so he just stood there, looking at Sehun getting in the car. A few seconds later the car left, and then Sehun was gone. He was gone and Yixing didn’t even have the chance to say anything. Tears piled up in his eyes, ready to slide down his cheeks.

“Why now, Sehun?”

None of them had ever mentioned those three words before. Those three words had a very strong meaning. Those three words were special. Therefore, those three words were supposed to be said for the first time in a special occasion, and this wasn’t a special occasion _at all._

This only made Yixing feel frustration; sadness; anger; fear; and guilt… All at the same time. And then he felt it. He felt something he never had felt before. He didn’t know how to explain it, but it hurt him a lot. It was something completely new to him, but he remained ignorant of it just for a very little time. Because not much after, realization hit him, and hard.

Yixing had finally understood—he had never experienced this sudden, weird, feeling before because he had never been the one who stayed. He had never had to be the one seeing Sehun leave.

“So this is what you feel when I leave _…_ ”

He bitterly smiled, shaking his head.

 _No,_ he thought, _this is definitely not what_ you _feel. Because I had never left being angry with you._

Yixing wiped his tears away, and went back inside the house.

He knew perfectly the pain caused by being apart. He also suffered every time he had to leave Sehun. He could say that the pain was in his heart, but saying that would be like saying that the pain was physical and it wasn’t. That pain was an emotional one, and that was much worse, because it wasn’t a pain that could be healed with a pill or any medication—heck, he didn’t even think that he could heal it even if Lay allowed him to use his healing power. With that you could understand how horrible it was.

During the last months, even before things got complicated, Sehun was left in Korea while he was in China, but Yixing thought that everything was okay. That _they_ were okay. Of course he felt sad, and he missed Sehun a lot, but he made sure to talk to him every day. He made sure to let him know that he always remembered him; that he was always with him—in his thoughts and in his heart.

Wasn’t that enough to reduce the pain? Well, of course not. They were still in two different countries. Probably that was only a reminder of how far they were, and instead of producing joy, it only gave them more sadness.

So his conclusion was no. It wasn’t enough.

“But then what is enough?!” he asked to no one in particular.

He was now sitting in his couch, knowing that he wouldn’t receive a response.

At that moment he only felt useless, unable to do anything to save one of the things that more happiness—and for the time being, more sadness—brought him. He knew that their relationship was in risk. Not because he believed that Sehun hated him or something. He was sure that he hadn’t heard wrong Sehun’s word, but being apart was affecting the relationship way too much.

It was an unspoken promise, but he knew that for him, as well as for Sehun, it was an _‘I’ll be there whenever you need me’_ , and not being able to keep that promise was what was opening the gap between them. They both knew it, even though it wasn’t a topic in their conversations. Both were aware that every time they ended a video call, hung up the phone, or wrote ‘I miss you’ in a text, the sadness in their hearts and souls became more and more present, gradually widening the gap.

 _But they were together!_ Yixing might think.

They didn’t have to be literally together, as in a physical way, to know that they were _together_ , as in a relationship, being a couple—yeah, surely they didn’t have to, but it didn’t mean that they had to stay away from each other for so long.

Yixing couldn’t find a responsible for this; because he really believed—or wanted to believe—that it was nobody’s fault. He couldn’t say that this was his fault; not completely, at least.

Sure, he had his studio. He was the one who had way too many commitments in China. He was the one who didn’t have the opportunity to match the schedules of the group. But it wasn’t as if he wanted to stay away from them. Those things weren’t _completely_ under his control. And just to add more things to this problem, there were going other complicated issues in the world. Those didn’t even have to do something with them, which made the situation worse.

Then now, it was definitely not Sehun’s fault. He was like a victim, Yixing could almost say. Watching him leave their place. Having to say goodbye countless times, with a look that practically begged him to stay just a little more. Yixing never thought he was doing him so much harm. That wasn’t his intention. Never had been, and never would be, but what could he do to make Sehun understand that he did care?

He remained in the couch wanting an answer to suddenly appear in his mind, but of course that wasn’t going to happen. He knew he couldn’t afford to hurt Sehun more than he already had, but he felt that the answer was far away from his knowledge.

Suddenly Yixing remembered an important point.

Sehun had come without a reason, but with a mission—or _plan_ , as Sehun had called it. He got frustrated because he felt that Yixing didn’t want to be with him, which led him to fail his plan. But again, what was that plan about?

Yixing stayed there, thinking, and then his eyes grew wide. In less than a second he jumped out of the couch and ran upstairs.

He already knew what he had to do.

 

 

Being in that airplane felt almost like a dream. Only a few hours before Sehun had been sitting in one of these machines heading to see Yixing, and now he was heading back to Seoul—yet not as he would’ve liked. This wasn’t what he had planned; things were supposed to end in a different way. Yixing was supposed to be next to him in that plane. But fate, God, Yixing, or someone in this world didn’t want him to accomplish his stupid plan, and now he was there with nothing more than sadness and pain in his heart.

How come they allowed themselves to argue like that? They usually didn’t fight. Since they had decided to be together, the times in which they had seriously argued could be counted with the fingers of one hand, and Sehun was sure that even some digits would be left.

Sehun shook his head and tried to be comfortable in his seat, but every position he tried made him feel anything but comfortable. His flight from China to Japan had made him feel uneasy thanks to everything that had happened in the past 24 hours, but now, already heading to Seoul, he was only tired. Not only because of all the flights and fights, but also because sleeping in the couch had been one of the most stupid decisions he had ever made. That couch wasn’t wide enough for him to fit without having to sleep crooked, and having slept only a few hours there was enough to waking up sore.

It had been a stupid decision, he knew that, but sleeping next to Yixing wasn’t a good decision either. He wanted to cuddle and feel Yixing’s arms around him, but he was supposed to be angry and, well, his pride was something valuable. He was the one that had started the fight, and he couldn’t give in that easily. At that moment Sehun felt that his pride was bigger than his need of love, and that’s why he thought that leaving Yixing alone in bed was the wisest decision ever. He was now aware of how wrong—and _stupid_ —he had been.

He even created a plan for that. He waited for Yixing to fall asleep to sneak out of the bed and go to the living room. His only concern was to wake him up while trying to get out of the room, but fortunately he succeeded. Yixing didn’t know that he had left him until he woke up.

 _But wait!_ Sehun thought. _Why did I go straight to the living room if there’s a guest room next to Yixing’s bedroom?_

Great! This was so, so great! He could’ve saved himself the pain of waking up sored if he had thought things better before trying to get away from Yixing. And not only that! Why in the world did he let his pride win, to begin with? If he had just stayed next to Yixing, he wouldn’t have had to waste some sleeping time creating a plan to sneak away. He wouldn’t have slept in the couch and now he wouldn’t be sore because of that.

Since when was he into creating plans, anyway? He turned out to be the worst for that! He had created two plans in the past hours, and both of them had been a tremendous failure. Really, this was just so great… Probably this was his karma for being such an asshole with Yixing. He didn’t even know how he was supposed to talk to him again after that. Not only had he behaved like a spoiled kid, but had he also let out of his mouth _those_ _three words_ that neither of them had ever mentioned before.

It wasn’t as if he wasn’t planning to say them, because he really felt that way toward Yixing, but he wasn’t sure whether it was the correct time for him to say them. What if Yixing felt that it was too soon? They’ve been together for a little over a year now, but everyone has their own definition of time and speed in relationships, and what may seem appropriate in time for Sehun, might seem very fast to Yixing—or maybe not.

Sehun didn’t really know, but he already felt awkward. He was unsure about what to expect after his sudden burst of love. Yixing would probably think he was crazy! Because let’s be honest, who argued with his or her boyfriend, leaving him to put back hundreds of kilometers between them just because they got into a fight, but before leaving, dared to tell him for the first time _‘I love you’_? Of course no one in their right mind! Sehun had to admit that he had fucked everything up. Yet he really wanted to believe that they would be alright.

He was trying to convince himself of that when he heard a tinkle sound. Looking for the origin of it, he was faced with a baby that was in his mom’s arms, next to his manager’s seat. He was playing with a set of toy keys. Sehun looked at him for a few seconds and the baby gave him a toothless smile. That made Sehun giggle. The baby was really cute, and the fact that he didn’t have teeth was kind of funny.

Sehun smiled back at the baby, and then he realized that the little dude had one dimple in one of his cheeks. And what did he remember after that? Exactly. He was brought back to the dimpled guy he had left in China. Now he was sure that this was definitely his karma.

He sighed and, after beaming at the baby one last time, he stared out the window.

He already missed Yixing like a crazy, and now there was nothing to do about it. Sehun shook his head when he suddenly remembered something. After hearing the tinkle sound, he just realized that he hadn’t made sure to bring with him the set of keys that Yixing had given him. He didn’t even remember where he had left it, in the first place.

“Have I ever told you that you’re really smart?” someone said.

Sehun rolled his eyes and answered, in a very low voice, “What do you want? Go away!”

“You _cannot_ shoo me away. I’m literally everywhere with you. After all, we’re the same person, but I’m smaller.” Mini Sehun was sitting in his thigh, looking at him. “Do you have any idea where the set might’ve stayed?”

Sehun shook his head and Mini Sehun sighed.

“What are you going to do about it? I mean, if I were Yixing, and found the keys I gave you left in my house, I wouldn’t return them to you. That would make me believe that you don’t want them anymore. Hence, I would end up thinking that you no longer want to be with me. I would call you to say that our relationship is ov—“

“You’re not helping at all!” Sehun shouted.

Right after, he felt more embarrassed than anything. He felt the judging stares of both his manager and the baby’s mom, but what could he expect? He could bet that he surely looked like a crazy!

Real Sehun sighed and rubbed his temple.

Why in the world was he behaving like a paranoid? Mini Sehun was a product of his imagination, and he knew that! Yet, there he was, talking to him as if he were real. How pathetic, huh? He would definitely make sure to schedule a date with a psychiatrist as soon as he arrived in Korea. But in the meanwhile, the best thing he could do to avoid more embarrassment was to sleep. So he settled into his seat and let his tiredness beat him. His manager-hyung would surely let him know when it was time to get off the plane.

 

 

It was past 8 p.m. when Sehun— _finally_ —reached the dorms. After his nap on the plane, for some reason he felt sadder than he already was. Not only had he spent his whole day in an airplane, but also had he felt a huge urge to cry. That wasn’t cool at all. It didn’t matter anymore. He was now at home. They had nothing scheduled for the next days, so he could lock himself in his room and deal with his loneliness and sadness there. Junmyeon would probably have to find a temporary room until he felt better.

Sehun tried to take out his keys to open the door but, _oh, surpris_ e! He didn’t have keys!

“Are the keys to the dorms attached to those of Yixing’s house? Really, Sehun?” Mini Sehun, who apparently had no plans to leave him alone at any time, said glaring at him.

“Shut up.”

He didn’t have any other choice than to ring the bell. Right after, Sehun heard from afar some excited shouts.

_“Food is hereeee!”_

Too bad they had to be disappointed as soon as they opened the door. It was only Sehun. A sad and broken Sehun. Without food and alone—Mini Sehun didn’t count.

The door opened and a happy Jongdae appeared in Sehun’s vision, followed by Junmyeon. As expected, the happiness didn’t last long, because, one, it wasn’t food. Two, Sehun wasn’t someone expected to be seen that soon. And three, he was alone.

Junmyeon didn’t take more than a second to realize that something was wrong. He turned to watch the clock on the wall, and for Sehun to have arrived at that hour, his trip must’ve lasted less than 12 hours. Something had happened in China, but how bad it was, he could only find out in a few hours, or maybe days.

“I thought we would see you again in a week… Or maybe never again,” Junmyeon said jokingly, trying to analyze how bad the problem was.

Sehun just walked in, took off his shoes, and went to his room without uttering a word.

Okay, something really bad had definitely happened.

They all remained silent; their looks surprised and worried at the same time. Everyone wanted to know what had happened, but Sehun was obviously not in the mood to explain anything. That left them with only two options—either wait for Sehun to come out of his self-confinement, or ask Yixing. None sounded like a good idea, though.

“I think it’s better to wait until any of them decides to look for any of us,” Junmyeon said.

The rest couldn’t agree more; waiting was their best option.

Meanwhile, the first thing Sehun did when he entered his room was lock the door and lie on the bed. The urge to cry was still there, so as soon as he left the living room, the tears ran down his face. He felt miserable. He pulled his phone out from his pocket, deep inside wanting to see a text or something from Yixing; any sign that he didn’t hate him, but there was nothing.

“You should know by now that I’m here. Aren’t you going to call?”

He waited for a moment, hoping to see _XingXing_ ♥ _~_ on the screen, but that didn’t happen.

He remained like this, lying on the bed with his cheeks wet. He felt tired. He had taken three flights in less than 24 hours. The sex had left him exhausted—he wouldn’t have cared if he didn’t feel so sad. He hadn’t slept well, and although the food prepared by Yixing was incredible, the reality was that he would’ve loved to have enjoyed it instead of having used his time thinking about how to fix their problems.

Suddenly his tears began to fall harder, and his silent sobbing became stronger, preventing him for breathing properly. What the hell had he done? He had a chance—the best he had had in months—and instead of taking advantage of it, he threw it completely through the window. What did it matter if he couldn’t bring Yixing to Korea! The important thing, the _really_ important thing, was that they were together now. That after all this time they had got a chance to see each other again. It really didn’t matter where that happened. But he had allowed his anger to be bigger than anything else causing that Yixing might no longer want him back.

His head was spinning, and all he wanted to do was sleep. He was in that specific moment between being asleep and awake, when he heard a similar sound to the one he had heard when he arrived.

_“Finally, food is hereeee!”_

Jongdae needed to change that shout into a quieter one, for someone’s sake!

Sehun didn’t have much time to keep on complaining about Jongdae’s loudness because a few moments later, all he could hear was, _“Yixing-hyung!”, “Lay-hyung!”, and “Xing!!”_

Oh, great! He was going crazy! Now he was hallucinating that everyone was talking about Yixing. At the reminder of his source of sadness, he felt his heart shrinking. He checked his phone again, and there still was nothing. _XingXing_ ♥ _~_ wasn’t on the screen, but Sehun forbade himself to keep on crying. Not because he didn’t want to, but his eyes burned and he was sure that he now looked ugly.

He rolled on the bed, facing the wall. He stared at the photo stuck to it. It had been taken the same day they had had their first _official_ date, which happened to be the same day they had decided to confess their feelings—well, it had been Sehun the one that decided that. He had been tired of having to wait for Yixing to do something about Sehun’s not so-subtle hints. Yixing had insisted that their first date had to be that same day, so he prepared everything and it had turned out to be better than Sehun had expected. It had been nothing extravagant, as people used to believe idols dates were. It had been a very simple date, but it had been perfect for Sehun.

He smiled at the memory, until someone knocked on the door. He didn’t answer, hoping that whoever it was would go away. He was thankful they all cared for him, but he didn’t feel like giving explanations or having company. They would really have to wait. But that hyung was really insistent because he knocked again.

Sehun stayed silent… And then a third attempt.

He rolled his eyes. It surely was Chanyeol wanting to make him laugh, but he wasn’t in the mood to laugh. Sehun got up and abruptly opened the door.

_“What?!”_

The person in front of him didn’t look like Chanyeol. He was much less tall, and his clothes weren’t all black and huge. Plus there was an earring in his ear so no, it wasn’t Chanyeol.

Sehun closed the door as fast as he had opened it. Was he dreaming? He must’ve been dreaming. Probably this was some kind of joke in his twisted brain to torture him. He blinked a few times wanting to see if anything would change; something that could indicate him that it was a dream, but the door was knocked again.

Could it be? Was it really happening?

“You can’t know if you don’t open the door,” Mini Sehun said, rolling his eyes.

Sehun slowly opened the door again, and put his head out of the room. He still saw the same person pouting.

“Was snapping the door on my face part of your plan?”

Tears seemed to be his only friends that day because they reappeared in Sehun’s eyes. Without even thinking, he jumped on non-Chanyeol and hugged him as if his life depended on it.

“Yixing, I’m so, so sorry!” Sehun sobbed against Yixing’s neck. “I know I acted like a spoiled kid and that you probably don’t want to see me ever again because I fucked everything up. I will totally understand if you don’t want to be with me anymore. I didn’t support you as much as I should’ve now that everything is complicated.

“I know that it’s not that you don’t want to be with us and I’m very sorry for having blamed you and having said that you didn’t want to be with us. And I don’t know why you’re not speaking, but if you don’t even want to talk to me ever again, I will definitely understand that too!”

He could feel how Yixing’s arms wrapped around his waist, and he hoped that it was a good sign. He couldn’t be so sure, though, because the other hadn’t spoken yet. They held each other for a while, until Yixing parted and cupped his face, removing the tears that were still falling.

They looked at each other before Yixing, with nothing but adoration reflected in his eyes, confessed, “I love you too.”

Sehun’s eyes grew wide and he stared at Yixing in disbelief. Of everything he thought Yixing would tell him, an ‘ _I love you’_ never crossed his mind. Do you remember when he had teasingly said that Yixing didn’t deserve to be with him? Well, that joke was totally cancelled. Sehun felt that the only one that didn’t deserve to be with someone was actually Sehun himself.

He felt like the happiest person in the world. Yixing didn’t hate him! He actually loved him back, and with this, Sehun felt how all his fears faded away. He laughed softly, and felt his face blush. That dimpled smile he loved so much formed on Yixing’s lips, and Sehun could now assure that they would be okay.

“Would you let me in?” Yixing asked.

“Oh, yeah! Sorry. Come in,” Sehun said, sniffing a little.

After Yixing entered, he closed the door and moved to sit on the bed.

Yixing stared at him for a while and then asked, concern reflected in his voice, “How much have you been crying? Your eyes are really puffy.”

“I don’t know,” Sehun honestly answered, touching his eyes. “But I would now gladly accept you something from the kitchen, preferably water, if you don’t mind. I think I dehydrated.”

Yixing laughed slightly and extended his arm to caress Sehun’s face, the latter leaning into the touch. When Yixing retrieved his hand, Sehun asked what had been creeping into his mind since the moment he left Yixing standing alone in the street.

“Are you mad at me?”

Yixing shook his head. “I’m actually worried about you,” he confessed, contemplating Sehun’s face. “The only one I’m mad at is me, actually.”

“You? But why?”

Yixing shrugged and faintly smiled. “A relationship isn’t only based on the words being said, but also on how those words are demonstrated. Thinking about everything that happened, I came to the conclusion that I was only responsible for saying things without demonstrating that they had a meaning for me.

“What I felt— _feel_ —for you, is completely real. I really want this to work because I really care about you. I love you, Sehun, and I’m really sorry that things haven’t been in our favor recently. Believe me that if I could, I would change this. But please never doubt that all I want for you is to be happy and that I would do anything to make you feel that way.”

Sehun frowned a little with this. Listening to Yixing take all the responsibility was something that he didn’t feel right. He wasn’t at fault of anything, and he hadn’t do anything wrong.

“It wasn’t your fault, Xing… I should’ve been more understanding toward you and your position in this, and I shouldn’t have reacted the way I did.” Sehun turned his gaze to look at his lap, his hands fidgeting a little. “I already knew that there was a huge possibility for you to say no, but I let the fear of not knowing when I would see you again win over my judgment.”

“It also scares me not to know when we’ll be able to be together again without having to wait for a long period of time, you know,” Yixing said, reaching Sehun’s fidgeting hands. He caressed them, trying to soothe him. “But I want you to remember that we’re facing this together. Not only as a couple, but as a group as well. Maybe we won’t be in the same place, but we’ll always be together in our hearts.”

Yixing looked how Sehun was slightly nodding his head, deep in thought as if trying to process what he had said. He waited for him to speak, never stopping to caress his hands. He waited, and he would even wait an eternity, for Sehun of whom he had no doubt of loving. It was something he had always known, but had until now had the chance to actually let out of his chest without fearing Sehun would think it was too soon to say ‘I love you’. He was smiling at himself while thinking this, and out of a sudden let out a chuckle.

It startled Sehun, who now was looking at him. “Why are you laughing?” he asked, tilting his head a little, confusion and curiosity reflected on his face.

“Nothing…” Yixing shook his head, a big smile creeping on his face. “It’s just that I love you so much.”

Sehun just blinked. He was surprised with the sudden change of topic, but more with the easiness those three words had rolled out of Yixing’s mouth. He tried to avoid eye contact with the other, feeling somehow embarrassed of not being used to listening to those words. Yet he had already started to like how they sounded.

“I love you a lot, too,” he mumbled, not daring to look at Yixing yet. “But I thought we were talking about the other thing.”

Yixing reached one hand to Sehun’s face and caressed his cheek. “Look at me.” He couldn’t help but laugh when he saw how flustered Sehun was. “You look cute.”

“Hyung!” Sehun whined, covering his face with his hands.

This only made Yixing laugh harder, taking away Sehun’s hands from his face. “I’m sorry, Lord Maknae, but you look cute and I really had to mention it.”

“I hate you!” Sehun assured him, trying to set his hands free from Yixing’s.

“That’s a lie!” Yixing saw how Sehun set one of his hands free, and added, “Now stop fighting and come here.” He pulled the other toward him, wrapping his arms around his neck.

Sehun immediately stopped his attempt to break his hands free, losing himself completely in the embrace. He wrapped his arms around Yixing as well, and mumbled, “I do hate you.”

Yixing smiled and placed a butterfly kiss on Sehun’s neck. “I know you don’t.”

“Yeah, I also know I don’t.”

They stayed there for a while, until a loud Jongdae interrupted their silence with a, “Please let this time be the food!”

The couple laughed and Sehun exclaimed, “They won’t survive a third deception if it’s not!”

“I wouldn’t be so sure,” Yixing told him. “We’re all willing to wait whatever it takes for food.”

“You have a point there,” Sehun agreed. “Have you already eaten something, by the way?” he asked, separating from Yixing to look at him properly. Seeing how the elder shook his head, he asked again, “Do you want to go and steal their food?”

“Since when did we become criminals?” Yixing raised his eyebrow.

“Since today!” Sehun smiled, and leaned to press a kiss on Yixing’s mouth. “Come on! Let’s see what they ordered.” He took Yixing’s hand, and he was about to stand up when he abruptly stopped, looking worried out of nowhere.

“What’s wrong?” Yixing asked, frowning.

“I…” Sehun looked back at Yixing, unsure if they had already finished talking about their current situation. “Are we okay?”

Yixing smiled at him, and cupping his hands in his face, leant to touch Sehun’s lips with his own. It was slow and sweet. One of those kisses in which you wanted to express how much you loved the other person. One of those kisses of reconciliation in which you showed how much you were sorry about anything that went wrong, and let the other know that you were willing to make things work for both.

They kissed for a while, and when they parted, Yixing nodded his head and confirmed, “We are okay.” Yixing then smiled again and got up from the bed. He extended his hand for Sehun to take it, and contentedly asked, “Are you ready to steal their food?”

“Yes, sir!” Sehun laughed and grabbed Yixing’s hand, getting up from the bed, too.

“Oh, by the way!” Yixing stopped, searching for something in his pocket. “I think you forgot these?” he said, holding a set of keys in front of Sehun’s face.

“I knew I had forgotten it there…” Sehun mumbled, shaking his head. “Do you still want me to keep them?”

Yixing feigned to think about it bringing his free hand to his chin, and after a few seconds he smiled and replied, “Only if you want to keep them.”

Sehun smiled and took the set from Yixing’s hand. “I won’t lose it again.”

“Well, I hope so. I’m not willing to give you a new one.”

When they appeared in the living room, seven heads turned toward them. Yixing saw how they all first looked at their faces, to then move their eyes to their entwined hands. The atmosphere seemed to relax then, and even though he saw how they all wanted to say something, none of them mentioned anything about the topic.

“Are you hungry? We ordered noodles!” Baekhyun dared to break the silence.

“There’s enough for everyone! Come, sit here!” Chanyeol cheered moving on the couch, signaling them to take a seat next to him.

Yixing moved toward the couch, pulling Sehun with him. He sat next to Chanyeol, Sehun by his side, and proceeded to eat. The TV was in that drama Jongin had recently been fanboying about, Yixing recalled. They were all watching it, and he could see how each one of them was teasing Jongin, trying to distract him so he wouldn’t know what was happening on the TV.

It wasn’t until some ads came that they all turned to pay attention to Yixing, asking him how his flight had been. How things had been going in China. If he had missed them—which Yixing replied with an, “Obviously not!”, earning a punch in the leg that came from Baekhyun, who was sitting in front of him on the floor.

They all laughed, and Yixing looked at each one of them—of course he had missed them! It had been three months since the last time they all had been able to interact like this. And even though that spending time with them was something he had always cherished, this time it felt different. Given the circumstances, he then remembered that just as he had told Sehun, they were all in this together, like families do.

“Xingie-hyung,” Jongin said, lowering his chopsticks. “How long are you staying?”

Yixing felt the other seven pairs of eyes staring at him. At that moment he just wished he could tell them that he was going to stay longer than he lately did, but of course that wasn’t true. This trip wasn’t even scheduled, and it was actually a matter of time before their managers found out where he was and dragged him back to China, arguing that, “seeing you all together could bring pretty bad consequences”.

As if he didn’t already know that…

He left a soft sigh and sent a glance at Sehun who was looking at him attentively, just as the other ones were. “I don’t really know. I kinda didn’t let anyone know I was coming, so…” he admitted, rubbing the back of his neck sheepishly.

“You what?!” Kyungsoo asked, as shocked as apparently everyone else in the room was. “Hyung, you’re gonna be in such a trouble…” He shook his head not believing what this guy had done.

“Who cares about the trouble? How the hell did you even manage to go unnoticed?!” Minseok asked, the disbelief clearly reflected in his voice. “It’s not like you’re a common human being that nobody knows, you know?”

“It’s called being a ninja,” Junmyeon mischievously stated. “You’re famous for that. I’ve seen it on Twitter.”

“People call him a ninja on Twitter?” Chanyeol asked, amused at the fact.

“It also goes on Weibo,” Sehun contributed, snorting a little after seeing Yixing’s shocked face.

“How come I never knew of that before?” the ninj—Yixing asked, puzzled at the revelation.

“Well, you may be a ninja, but you’re not a spy.” Junmyeon shrugged, taking into his mouth more noodles. “I’m a master on that topic, though, and I have to admit that a lot of wild things happen on Twitter. It’s hard not to let them know I’m actually reading what they put there.”

“What type of wild things?” Jongin curiously asked, raising his eyebrows.

“Only people who can manage to make social network work have the right to know,” Junmyeon teased, earning a pout from the younger. “The point is,” he continued after laughing at Jongin, “that you’re called a ninja. It’s funny how they all react when you suddenly appear in a place out of nowhere, without them having previews of you at any airport.”

“A ninja, indeed…” Chanyeol confirmed, grinning. “You should definitely give us some advice, hyung.”

“I still can’t believe you…” Minseok insisted. “Dude, you’re my hero. I’ll open a fan site for you. It’s gonna be called The Frozen Ninja. I’ll get such exclusive material, given that I can literally shove a camera on your face without having to go everywhere with you. I’ll be able to make a life from it.”

“Please don’t!” Jongdae crossed his arms in front of his body simulating a letter ‘x’. “Sehun will buy all those goods just to be the only one who has access to that exclusive material, and no offense, but I don’t really wanna live in a place where there are 1,000 calendars of a naked Yixing, thank you very much.”

“I would pay for one of those! That would be quality material…” Baekhyun joked, wiggling his eyebrows.

“Quality material that your eyes will never get to see, hyung,” Sehun kind of proclaimed, hitting Baekhyun on the head with a pillow from the couch.

“I would steal one from your room once you’ve bought all the calendars.” Baekhyun turned to steal the pillow from Sehun, not wanting to be hit again. “You wouldn’t notice, anyway.”

“I would! I’ll count all of them before going to sleep. If there’s one missing, I’ll know it was you.”

“Bet you would do that, crazy kid!” Baekhyun exclaimed, making everyone but Sehun laugh. “But going back to the point, we can say you’re not staying for so long, then?” he asked, bending his neck back to see Yixing.

Yixing nodded, sending Baekhyun an apologetic smile. “But let’s deal with it later. Right now I’m here and I really want to enjoy whatever time I get to stay here, so”—he turned to look at Jongin—“could you please tell me what is going on in the drama?”

“Oh, yes!” Jongin nodded contentedly. “You see that guy? Well, he’s the male lead. He’s a prosecutor that is in charge of…“

Sehun stopped paying attention without even noticing, his mind only focused on Yixing. He loved how he always genuinely asked the members about anything they were interested in, trying to understand and learn about it, just for the sake of getting to know more about the other guys. It always made Sehun smile, being on those occasions reminded of one of the things that had made him fall in love with Yixing.

He just looked at his boyfriend, trying to catch up as much as he could of him—of his presence in this room. Of how he laughed when someone said something funny. Of how he watched the TV so attentively, trying not to miss anything important in the drama’s plot. Of how he listened to the others’ theories about what would happen next and laughed when they failed. Of how he moved to curl in Sehun’s arms, resting his head on the crook of his neck. Of how he looked up at him, smiling broadly when he would catch Sehun staring down at him. Of how he would stretch his neck up to brush their lips together just because they could have a _real_ kiss. Of how he quietly, but now freely, whispered _‘I love you’_ on Sehun’s neck, earning an _‘I love you, too’_. Of how Yixing was just Yixing and he loved him just because of that. Of how he wanted time to move faster just to maybe have everything go back to the way it was.

Sehun knew that this moment would eventually end with Yixing heading back to China and he himself dealing with probably not seeing the dimpled man soon, but it was okay for him. Because right now they were all together enjoying some quality time. Catching up on anything that hadn’t been talked about; laughing and acting like they always had. It felt as if nothing was keeping them apart. He knew that it wouldn’t be easy, since not having Yixing near had always been hard, but Sehun was still happy; because at this moment Yixing was with him and he wouldn’t have to miss him, at least not today.

 

 

 

**Author's Note:**

> And there it goes my almost-20k -words monster, which happens to be my very first baby as well akkajskajs I got this idea back in June, and tbh, I wasn’t really sure if I should write it or not, since I’m more of a fic reader than a fic writer, but I had this urge to give the idea a full body and, well, this is the result—which happened to be done by the end of October, but again, I wasn’t sure if I should upload it or not. Then in the end I decided that I’d upload it bc I spent a lot of time writing it, and I didn’t want my time to be wasted, so this is how you ended reading this, almost 5 or 6 months after having finished it. :’)
> 
> I don’t really want to bother you with a long author’s note, but I have some points here that I kinda need to mention, so please deal with me for a while if you want to read them lol
> 
> Firstly, this was the very first time I write a fanfic, and tbh, Idk how good or bad this is, so any comment you may have, being positive or not, about the story or the way I write, will be very welcome! Also, English isn’t my first language, so it’s possible you might’ve found errors that I didn’t notice after having checked the whole thing several times. Feel free to let me know if there’s any to change it. :)
> 
> Regarding the main problem that was treated in the fic, I had to make a lot of research about China’s traveling ban toward SK since I wasn’t really aware of how things were exactly going on. You know, news don’t actually tell everything, and I can’t fully believe in whatever Internet says lol but I found an article that helped me understand a little bit better—though Idk how accurate it is. If you’re interested, here’s the [link](https://jingdaily.com/chinas-south-korea-travel-ban-what-you-need-to-know/) for you to read it.
> 
> Finally, in a beginning I really had many things to say regarding Yixing’s situation, taking into account the time when I started writing this, but the issue has kinda— _“kinda”_ —died by now, so I don’t find like, relevant, to mention what I think. But I will, either way… xD The thing is that I haven’t seen a lot of comments blaming him about not being with the group, yet I know this doesn’t mean that people have started to be understanding toward him or the situation in general, but I just need to say that Yixing has nothing to prove to anyone. I think he’s made clear more than once what loyalty means to him, and tbh, I find this entire “he will leave the group” thing a little bit disappointing. Just have a little bit of faith on him; it’s not that hard, I guess… I mean, if he really wanted to leave, he would’ve done it a long time ago. But well, people have always been free to think whatever they want to think, and that’s pretty much valid.
> 
> I do miss him being with EXO, but as I wrote somewhere in this story, all these political issues have nothing to do with music industry, so there’s nothing they can actually do, but to wait for things to be “normal” again, if we can say it like that. And that’s actually the only thing we, as fans, can also do. Just wait a little bit more, I think the wait will be really worth it in the end. ♥
> 
> Anyway, I’ll stop here bc I know some people find it annoying when authors do what I did in my note xD But thank you for having read this rant if you actually get to this point hahaha and for having given my story a try! I hope it was worth your time! ♥(:


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